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So, your favorite people are tying the knot. The suit is pressed, the gift is wrapped, and you're ready to celebrate. But then comes the moment of truth: staring at a blank wedding card. The pressure is on to write something meaningful, memorable, and maybe even a little bit brilliant. While heartfelt sentiments are always beautiful, sometimes the best way to show your love is with a good-natured laugh. After all, a shared sense of humor is one of the best foundations for a happy marriage.
Finding the right words that are both funny and short can be tricky. You want to be witty, not weird; clever, not cheesy. That's where we come in. We've curated a list of short, funny wedding wishes perfect for any couple who loves to laugh. Whether you’re their lifelong best friend or a beloved family member, these messages are designed to bring a smile to their faces on their big day.
Questionable Words of Wisdom
This is the "advice" you give when you want to be funny, not necessarily helpful. Perfect for friends who appreciate a dose of sarcasm and realism.
- Congratulations! And remember: a happy spouse is a happy house. Or, at least, a less noisy one.
- My only advice: always agree with them, even when you’re pretty sure they’ve hidden the remote on purpose.
- Marriage is a workshop where one person works and the other one shops. Congrats!
- Welcome to the club! The first rule of marriage is... well, you’ll figure it out. Eventually. Maybe.
- Congrats on finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Remember, marriage is not just a word. It’s a sentence. A life sentence! Kidding... mostly.
- The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret. But if you find it, text me!
- Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. Happy wedding day!
- Marriage lets you annoy one special person forever. Glad you found your person.
- Welcome to a lifelong sleepover with your favorite weirdo!
The Party's Over (Just Kidding... Mostly)
A gentle roast to say goodbye to their single days. These are perfect for the couple who's ready to trade late nights out for cozy nights in.
- I’m so happy for you both! Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a whole new war.
- Glad you two got married. It was getting expensive going out with both of you separately.
- I guess I'll have to find a new partner in crime. Congrats on your retirement!
- Some people marry for love. Some for money. Some for a good party. Thanks for the party!
- Well, it was fun being single with you. Don't call me, I'll call you (for board game nights).
- Thanks for reminding me how single I am. Have a great life!
- I knew you were a goner from the first date. Congrats on making it official!
- And they lived happily ever after... said no one who just got your joint utility bill. Congrats!
One-Liners for the Win
When you need something short, punchy, and perfect for a text message or a tiny card. These get straight to the funny point.
- It’s about time!
- Your wedding? I thought this was just a party for me.
- Finally, a legitimate reason to post all those couple photos.
- Thanks for the free food and booze! Oh, and congrats.
- Well, you’re stuck with each other now. Good luck!
- Congrats on no longer being a "plus-one"!
- You guys are so great together, it’s almost annoying.
- Officially off the market. All sales are final!
- I give your marriage a 9/10. (You lost a point for not serving tacos.)
Congrats on Landing Your Trophy Spouse
A fun way to congratulate one person while playfully teasing the other. Best used when you know both members of the couple well.
- [Spouse 1's Name], you are a testament to the fact that [Spouse 2's Name] has excellent taste.
- Congrats, [Spouse 1's Name]! You finally get to be the boss of someone. Good luck, [Spouse 2's Name].
- He/She finally put a ring on it! I’m still not sure how you tricked him/her, but well done!
- Congratulations on your biggest and most challenging project yet!
- I’m so glad you married him/her. You’re way too good at being single.
- Wow, you two. I’m impressed that both of your standards are so low. Kidding! Love you!
- To the bride: thanks for taking him off our hands. To the groom: my condolences.
- Congrats to one of my favorite people... and [Spouse's Name]!
Mostly Here for the Open Bar
For when the humor is about the celebration itself. These self-deprecating jokes are always a safe and funny bet.
- Congratulations! Now, point me toward the bar.
- Your wedding is the best excuse for a party I’ve seen all year. Well done!
- I'm just here for the cake. And to see you two get married, I guess.
- May your love be as strong and endless as the open bar.
- I’ll be taking bets on who cries first. (My money’s on the groom.)
- "To have and to hold from this day forward..." is what I’ll be saying to my champagne glass tonight.
- Thanks for having a wedding on a day I was already planning on drinking.
- Love is beautiful, but a slice of wedding cake is a close second. Congrats!
### Make It Your Own
Now that you have some ideas, feel free to mix, match, or modify them to perfectly suit the happy couple. The best funny wedding wish comes from the heart, even if it’s a slightly silly one. Add a quick personal memory or an inside joke to make it truly unique. No matter what you write, your effort to bring a little extra joy and laughter to their special day will always be appreciated. Cheers to the newlyweds