We’ve all been there. A friend sends a text message that could double as a novel. A colleague drops a jargon-filled explanation in Slack that makes your brain fizzle. Or you stumble upon a social media rant so long and winding, you’d need a map and a week's supply of rations to get through it. In these moments of information overload, a single, perfect meme comes to mind: Jared, 19, who never learned how to read.
The "I wish I could read" meme has become the internet's favorite way to humorously say, "I am overwhelmed," "I don't understand," or simply, "That's a lot of words." It’s a gentle, self-deprecating way to tap out without being rude. But how do you capture that vibe in a message? Fear not. We’ve curated the perfect list of responses for every time you're faced with a wall of text you just can't handle.
For That Wall of Text From a Friend
When your bestie sends you a multi-paragraph text detailing their entire day, their latest romantic drama, or a complex dream they had, you need a reply that says "I love you, but I need the CliffsNotes version."
1. Wow, that is a lot of words. Too bad I suddenly can't read. Can I get the audio version?
2. My brain saw the length of this message and immediately played the "I wish I could read" Vine in my head.
3. This looks incredibly important/juicy. It's a shame I've forgotten the alphabet. What's the headline?
4. I’m so glad you trust me with this! Unfortunately, these are just beautiful squiggles to me right now. Can you summarize in 5 words?
5. Saving this for when I learn how to read. In the meantime, is everything okay?
6. You've presented me with a stunning tapestry of text. I wish I could decipher its meaning.
7. I'm getting major "Jared, 19" vibes from this message. TL;DR?
When Work or School Emails Get Too Complicated
You’re in a Slack channel or email thread, and someone drops a block of corporate jargon, complex instructions, or academic theory that feels impenetrable. Use these to lighten the mood and ask for clarification.
1. This all looks very official. It’s a shame I can't read. Could someone translate this into human language for me?
2. Reading this email and feeling a deep, spiritual connection to the "I wish I could read" meme. Can we get a quick summary on the main action item?
3. My brain has automatically tagged this with "TL;DR." What’s the one thing I absolutely need to know?
4. I’m sure there are words in here, but my eyes are just glazing over. What are we doing?
5. This is fantastic, thank you! I'm just going to stare at it and nod until I absorb the information through osmosis.
6. My literacy skills have mysteriously vanished after the first paragraph. Is there a diagram for this?
7. I’ve read this twice and all I’ve retained is my own name. Help.
Reacting to Online Drama & Rants
For that 12-part Twitter thread, a Facebook novel from a distant relative, or an Instagram caption that goes on forever. These responses let you acknowledge the chaos from a safe, humorous distance.
1. The sheer volume of text here is a work of art. A beautiful, illegible work of art.
2. I’d love to have an opinion on this, but alas, reading is not my strong suit today.
3. This post has so much energy. I wish I could read it to find out what kind.
4. This looks like a really spicy take. Shame I can’t decipher these ancient runes.
5. Commenting on this so the algorithm brings me back when someone has posted a summary.
6. Everyone in the comments seems to have a lot of feelings about these words. I’m just here enjoying the shapes they make.
7. The spirit of Jared, 19 is with me. I see a post, but I cannot read it.
Humorously Dodging an Argument
Someone just sent you a long, angry, or passive-aggressive message designed to pick a fight. Defuse the situation and signal you’re not engaging with a bit of self-deprecating humor.
1. Whoa, that's a lot of passion in that message. It's a pity I can't seem to read what it's about.
2. My ability to read seems to have conveniently disappeared the second I opened this. Weird.
3. This feels important, but the words are doing a little dance and I can't make them out.
4. I would respond to your points, but I am unfortunately illiterate. Have a great day!
5. You've laid out your case very thoroughly, I'm sure. I wish I could read it to appreciate it.
6. My brain has opted out of processing this particular string of text. Please try again later (or never).
7. I see that you've typed many words. A true tragedy that my reading skills have abandoned me in this crucial moment.
When Your Brain Has Simply Clocked Out
Sometimes, the text isn't even that long or complicated. You’re just tired. It’s the end of the day, and your brain has officially shut down. These are for expressing that relatable feeling of mental exhaustion.
1. It's 5 PM, which means my ability to read has expired for the day. Can we circle back tomorrow?
2. I'm sure this makes sense, but my brain has turned into a potato and potatoes can't read.
3. My spirit is willing, but my eyes are not. Going to need to file this under "read later."
4. The part of my brain responsible for reading has closed for business. What's the vibe?
5. I have exactly three brain cells left and they're all busy thinking about snacks. Can't read this right now.
6. I see letters, but my brain isn't forming them into words. It's a sign.
7. I’m in my "staring blankly at the screen" era. I’ll try to read this again in the morning.
Make It Your Own
The "I wish I could read" meme is all about tone. Feel free to mix and match these, or use them as a jumping-off point to create your own perfect, humorously illiterate response. The key is to know your audience and keep it lighthearted. Now go forth and confidently *not* read those overwhelmingly long messages.