Here is the listicle article on "short funny wedding wishes".
Weddings are a beautiful whirlwind of love, cake, questionable dance moves, and, of course, the pressure of writing the perfect wedding card. While heartfelt messages are wonderful, sometimes the best way to celebrate a couple you love is with a good-natured laugh. After all, a shared sense of humor is one of the best foundations for a happy marriage!
If you’re staring at a blank card and want to write something more memorable than "Congratulations," you’ve come to the right place. A short, funny wedding wish can be the perfect way to share in the couple's joy, show off your personality, and give them a message they’ll actually remember. We've gathered the best witty one-liners and playful jokes to help you toast the newlyweds in style.
Slightly Cynical (But Still Sweet) Jokes
For the couple who appreciates a touch of sarcasm and realistic humor. These messages playfully poke fun at the institution of marriage while still being warm and celebratory.
1. Congratulations on finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your lives.
2. Marriage: An endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo. Congrats!
3. Thanks for inviting us to eat and drink while you two made a lifelong commitment. An excellent trade.
4. Welcome to the club! The first rule of marriage is... well, you'll figure it out. Eventually.
5. Glad you two found each other. It was starting to get weird.
6. "It's a trap!" - Admiral Ackbar. Just kidding... mostly. Congratulations!
7. I'm so happy for you both! (And for the open bar.)
8. Congratulations on signing away your independence. May your sentence be a happy one!
9. Love is all you need... and a good wifi connection. And separate bathrooms. Congrats!
10. Remember, a "successful marriage" is one that lasts. You're on the clock. Go!
Advice You Didn't Ask For
Offer your "wisdom" with these hilarious and unhelpful tips for married life. They’re perfect for a lighthearted and memorable message.
1. My best advice: don't ever stop fighting over the duvet. It keeps the passion alive.
2. Always remember the three most important words in a marriage: "You're right, dear."
3. A happy marriage is based on a few simple rules: 1. The wife is always right. 2. If the wife is wrong, see rule #1.
4. Congratulations! Now you have a designated person to help you find your keys.
5. My advice for a long and happy marriage is... wait, what was the question? I wasn't listening. Congrats!
6. The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret. But if you find it, text me!
7. Never go to bed angry. Always stay up and plot your revenge. Just kidding! Congrats!
8. May you always agree on the thermostat setting. Or at least, may one of you be willing to wear a sweater.
9. Remember to always treat your partner like a dog: with lots of love, loyalty, and plenty of treats.
Food & Drink Themed Toasts
What's a wedding without cake and champagne? These fun, food-themed wishes are a perfect toast to the new "pair."
1. You two go together like drunk and disorderly. Congratulations!
2. May your life together be as sweet as this wedding cake.
3. Cheers to the only "Tinder" match that really matters!
4. I'm here for the cake, but I'll stay for the love. Congrats, you two!
5. May your love be as endless as the champagne tonight. Let's test that theory!
6. You're the mac to my cheese. Wait, no, you're the mac to *each other's* cheese. Congrats!
7. Wishing you a lifetime of love, and a fridge that's always full.
8. To love, laughter, and a happily ever after that involves a lot of tacos.
Short & Punchy One-Liners
When you need to keep it brief but brilliant, these short zingers are perfect for a guest book, a quick text, or signing off in a card.
1. Well, this just got real. Congrats!
2. Game over. Thanks for playing!
3. Congrats on making it official!
4. Your wedding was better than a royal wedding. Fact.
5. Finally! It was about time.
6. You guys are stuck with each other now. Yay!
7. May your wedding be the start of a great story.
8. So, forever, huh? That's a long time. Congrats!
9. This is your "happily ever after." No pressure.
For the Party Animals
Focus on the celebration at hand with these wishes that are all about the fun, the dancing, and the free-flowing drinks.
1. Thanks for the free booze. Best wishes on a long, happy marriage!
2. Your love is beautiful, but I'm really here for the dance floor. See you out there!
3. May your marriage be as much fun as this party!
4. Congratulations! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get my money's worth from the open bar.
5. To the happy couple! May you never have to pay for a drink again... at least for tonight.
6. I'll give your marriage a 10/10. The party, too.
7. This is the best party I’ve ever been to where two people promised to share a Netflix account. Congrats!
8. Love is in the air! And I think I smell an after-party. Let's go!
### Make It Your Own
The best wedding wishes come from the heart—even the funny ones! Feel free to take one of these messages and add a personal touch. Mention a shared memory, an inside joke, or simply sign off with genuine warmth. Your friends are starting an incredible new chapter, and a little bit of laughter from you is the perfect gift to send them on their way.