Finding the right words for a wedding card can be tricky. The aisle of the card shop is a sea of calligraphy and heartfelt poems about soulmates and eternal love. But what if the happy couple is more about sharing memes than sonnets? What if their love language is less "sweet nothings" and more "sarcastic banter"?
If you want to give a card that stands out from the pile and genuinely reflects the couple's fun-loving spirit, you've come to the right place. A funny wedding wish shows you know them well enough to skip the formalities and go straight for the laugh. This is your ultimate guide to crafting the perfect, humorous message that celebrates their love and their killer sense of humor.
Slightly Cynical (But Loving) Advice for the Long Haul
These messages offer a hilarious glimpse into the day-to-day realities of marriage.
1. "Marriage is about finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Congratulations on finding your victim!"
2. "Welcome to the club where you can talk about thermostat settings for 45 minutes straight. We've been waiting for you."
3. "Remember, a successful marriage is all about yelling 'What?!' from different rooms. So happy for you both!"
4. "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not having to share the remote. Good luck with that last one. Congrats!"
5. "I give you this advice: never stop laughing, even at your own jokes. And never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. Congratulations!"
6. "Congrats on signing a contract that legally binds you to one person's weird habits forever. May your love be stronger than your annoyance at how they load the dishwasher."
7. "Marriage lets you have a special person to steal blankets from for the rest of your life. May the best spouse win. All the best!"
8. "They say the secret to a happy marriage is a good sense of humor. Which is great, because you're going to need it. Congrats!"
It's All About the Open Bar (And You Two, I Guess)
For when your primary motivation is the free food and booze, but you're also really happy for them.
1. "I'm so happy for you two! And for the open bar. But mostly for you two."
2. "Your wedding is the best party I've ever been to. The part where you got married was a nice touch, too. Congratulations!"
3. "Thanks for the free food and booze! Also, wishing you a long and happy marriage and all that. Cheers!"
4. "I'm just here for the cake. And to see two of my favorite people get hitched. But mostly the cake. Congrats!"
5. "I can't wait to watch you two grow old together and tell stories about this epic party you threw for us. Thanks for the invite!"
6. "To the happy couple: May your love be as strong and enduring as my hangover will be tomorrow. Congratulations!"
7. "I've been looking forward to this day for so long! The open bar, I mean. Oh, and your wedding, too. All the best!"
8. "My presence at your wedding is your real gift, but I brought a card anyway. Thanks for the great time!"
For the Couple Who Loves a Good Roast
When "sweet and sentimental" just won't cut it for your best friend or sibling.
1. "Congrats on finding the only person who is weirder than you are. You're a perfect match."
2. "[Spouse's Name], he's/she's your problem now. No returns, no exchanges. Good luck and Godspeed."
3. "I'm 90% sure I'm the reason you two are together. You're welcome. My registry is on Amazon."
4. "Congratulations! Your search for a permanent designated driver is finally over."
5. "I've seen you at your worst and somehow this person still decided to marry you. That's how I know it's true love. Congrats!"
6. "Well, I guess I have to be nice to [Spouse's Name] from now on. The things I do for you... Congratulations!"
7. "Glad you two found each other. Now I can finally stop pretending to like your terrible taste in dates."
8. "Congratulations on your wedding! It’s a shame you can’t expense the wedding night."
A Gentle Jab at 'The End of an Era'
Perfect for the friends who are losing a single compatriot to the wonderful world of marriage.
1. "I guess this means your Saturdays are for Home Depot runs instead of happy hour. I'll pour one out for you. Congrats!"
2. "So, does this mean our chaotic nights out are being replaced by civilized dinner parties? I'm so happy for you, but also a little sad for me."
3. "To my favorite wingman/wingwoman: Thanks for all the good times. I'm honored to be here to witness your honorable discharge from the single life. Congrats!"
4. "I can't believe you're abandoning our 'Single and Loving It' club. I'll forgive you because you look so happy. All the best!"
5. "Who am I going to call for a last-minute adventure now? I guess I'll have to schedule my spontaneity two weeks in advance. So happy for you both!"
6. "RIP to your single life. We had a good run. So thrilled to celebrate the beginning of this new chapter with you!"
7. "Remember when we swore we'd be single forever? Thanks for breaking the pact, traitor. Couldn't be happier for you!"
Short, Sweet & Sarcastic: Perfect for a Quick Text or Social Post
Quick, witty, and to the point—these are the one-liners that get the job done with a smile.
1. "Congrats on no longer being weirdly single!"
2. "You guys are cute or whatever. Congrats!"
3. "I knew you two were nuts. For each other! Happy wedding day."
4. "So, I guess you're officially off the market. Congrats!"
5. "Thanks for finally making it official and giving us a reason to party."
6. "Well, this is happening. So happy for you both!"
7. "You got married! A decision that is only slightly more permanent than a tattoo. Congrats!"
8. "About damn time! Wishing you all the best."
### A Final Thought: Make It Your Own
The best funny wedding wish is one that feels personal. Use these messages as a starting point, but don't be afraid to add a specific memory or inside joke. The goal is to share a laugh and remind the happy couple of the unique, fun, and special relationship you have with them. Your card will be a bright spot of humor and genuine affection in their collection of wedding-day memories.