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The twenties. It's a decade of beautiful chaos, of firsts and lasts, of figuring out who you are when no one's telling you who to be. It feels like you have all the time in the world and none at all, a thrilling and terrifying tightrope walk between newfound freedom and overwhelming responsibility. Looking back, we can see the path so much more clearly. We see the moments we should have savored, the worries we could have let go of, and the truths that were hiding in plain sight.
This collection of wishes isn't about regret; it's about reflection. It’s a love letter to our younger selves and a guiding star for those who are navigating that brilliant, bewildering age right now. Whether you're turning twenty, raising a twenty-year-old, or simply feeling nostalgic, here are the pearls of wisdom many of us wish we knew back then.
On Love & Heartbreak (It's Not a Final Exam)
At twenty, love feels like a pass/fail course with the highest stakes. But it’s not. It’s a series of lessons, each one teaching you more about your own heart.
- I wish I knew that a broken heart is not a sign of failure, but proof that you were brave enough to love.
- I wish I knew that the love you deserve won’t require you to shrink, silence yourself, or sacrifice your dreams.
- I wish I knew that you can’t "fix" another person, and it’s not your job to try. Your only job is to love them as they are or love yourself enough to walk away.
- I wish I knew that being single is not a waiting room. It’s a classroom for learning about yourself. Enjoy the curriculum.
- I wish I knew that the passion of a first love is intoxicating, but the peace of a true partnership is life-changing. Don't confuse the two.
- I wish I knew that your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, not your biggest critic.
- I wish I knew that saying "no" to the wrong person is just as important as saying "yes" to the right one.
- I wish I knew that it's better to be alone and happy than to be with someone and feel lonely.
On Your Career (The Ladder is a Jungle Gym)
The pressure to pick a career and climb a linear ladder is immense. But life is rarely that neat. Your path will have twists, turns, and sideways moves—and that’s where the adventure is.
- I wish I knew that your first job is not your forever job. It’s a launchpad, not a life sentence.
- I wish I knew that it's okay to not know what you want to do. "I don't know" is a starting point for exploration.
- I wish I knew that the skills you learn in a "bad" job—patience, resilience, dealing with difficult people—are invaluable.
- I wish I knew to chase curiosity, not just a job title. What you're interested in will lead you to more fulfilling places than what you think you *should* be doing.
- I wish I knew that networking isn't about being slick; it's about being genuine. Ask people about their stories. Be interested, not just interesting.
- I wish I knew that your salary doesn't define your worth. Your character, kindness, and impact do.
- I wish I knew that it’s okay to quit a job that is destroying your mental health. No paycheck is worth your peace.
- I wish I knew that the most successful people are the ones who are willing to learn, unlearn, and relearn. Stay a student for life.
On Money (It's a Tool, Not a Trophy)
Financial literacy can feel like a foreign language at twenty. But understanding that money is a tool to build the life you want, rather than a score to be tallied, is the key to freedom.
- I wish I knew how to create a simple budget. Knowing where your money goes is the first step to telling it where to go.
- I wish I knew the magic of compound interest. Start saving, even a tiny amount, right now. Your future self will write you a thousand thank-you notes.
- I wish I knew that debt, especially credit card debt, is a cage. Avoid it whenever possible and pay it off with fierce determination.
- I wish I knew that experiences are almost always a better investment than things. Travel, concerts, dinners with friends—those memories appreciate in value.
- I wish I knew how to talk about money without shame or ego. Discuss salaries, savings, and financial goals with trusted friends or mentors.
- I wish I knew to build an emergency fund. Having three to six months of living expenses saved is the ultimate stress-reducer.
- I wish I knew that learning to cook is one of the best financial (and health) decisions you can make.
- I wish I knew that financial independence isn't about being rich; it's about having enough to not be controlled by money.
On Friendship (Finding Your People, Not Just a Crowd)
In your twenties, friendships shift. Some fade, some deepen, and new ones form. The goal isn't to be popular; it's to be truly seen and supported by a few good people.
- I wish I knew that friendships require effort. Don't let your most important relationships fade from neglect. Call, show up, and listen.
- I wish I knew that not all friends are meant to be forever friends, and that's okay. Some are for a season, some are for a reason, and some are for a lifetime.
- I wish I knew that a true friend is someone who tells you the truth, even when it's hard to hear.
- I wish I knew that shared vulnerability, not just shared fun, is what deepens a bond.
- I wish I knew to choose friends who celebrate your wins without a hint of jealousy.
- I wish I knew that it's better to have four quarters than a hundred pennies. The quality of your friends is far more important than the quantity.
- I wish I knew that you'll outgrow some people, and they'll outgrow you. It's a natural part of growth, not a personal failing.
- I wish I knew that the friends who stick by you when you have nothing to offer but your own company are your people.
On Your Relationship with Yourself (The Longest Love Story)
This is the most important relationship you will ever have. How you talk to yourself, care for yourself, and trust yourself sets the foundation for your entire life.
- I wish I knew that "no" is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation for protecting your time, energy, and peace.
- I wish I knew that your body is your home for life, not an ornament to be judged. Treat it with kindness, feed it well, and move it in ways that feel good.
- I wish I knew that failure is just data. It’s information on what not to do next time. It doesn't define you.
- I wish I knew that your intuition—that little gut feeling—is your most reliable compass. Learn to listen to it.
- I wish I knew that comparing your life to someone else's curated social media feed is the fastest way to kill your own joy.
- I wish I knew that you are allowed to change your mind, your dreams, your hair, your major. You are a work in progress, not a finished product.
- I wish I knew to forgive myself for my mistakes. You are learning. Be as patient with yourself as you would be with a good friend.
- I wish I knew that spending time alone is not lonely; it's essential. It's where you get to know the real you.
### A Final Thought
These "wishes" are not rules, but reminders. They are insights gathered from scraped knees and celebrated victories. The best thing you can do is take the ones that resonate, leave the ones that don’t, and trust your own journey. Write your own story, make your own beautiful mistakes, and one day you’ll have your own list of what you wish you knew—a list you can pass on to the next person walking that brilliant, bewildering path.