We’ve all been there. Consumed by a feeling so intense, so frustrating, or so painful that the darkest thoughts bubble to the surface. The phrase "I wish they were dead" is often a stand-in for a complex cocktail of emotions: deep hurt, profound anger, a desperate desire for an ending, or the need for a toxic influence to simply vanish. It’s a human, albeit unsettling, reaction to extreme situations.
While rarely a literal desire, finding the words to articulate this powerful feeling can be a crucial step in processing it. Whether you're severing ties for good, venting into a private journal, or using dark humor to cope, this guide offers a way to frame those difficult thoughts. Here are categorized messages to help you express that ultimate end—be it the end of a relationship, a painful memory, or just a very, very bad day.
Sarcastic & Darkly Humorous Jabs
For when your anger is best served with a side of scathing wit. These messages use hyperbole and sarcasm to land a punch without resorting to a direct threat.
1. I’m not saying I wish you were dead, but I’d be first in line to help your ghost solve its own murder.
2. I hope you live a long, long life, so you have more time to think about what you did.
3. Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been dead to me for years.
4. My only regret is that I won't get to press "like" on your obituary.
5. I’d say “bless your heart,” but I don’t want to give you any advantages in the afterlife.
6. I don’t wish you harm, but I have subscribed to a Google Alert for your name plus the word "tragic."
7. May you get everything you deserve. I’ll leave it at that.
8. I’m not wishing you dead, just a very sudden, very permanent retirement to a place with no Wi-Fi.
9. I picture your funeral being a lovely, well-attended event. I’m an optimist.
10. I hope your eulogy is written with the same level of honesty and care you’ve always shown me.
The Final Goodbye: Messages for Severing Ties
This isn't about wishing for a physical end; it's about declaring a relational one. These messages are for when someone is officially "dead to you," and you need to close the book for good.
1. Consider this the eulogy for what we had. It was short. Rest in peace.
2. This isn't a "goodbye," it's a "never again." To me, you no longer exist.
3. I am attending the funeral of our friendship today. Don't worry, I'm the only one who needs to show up.
4. There is no anger left, just a void where you used to be. You are a memory I’m choosing to forget.
5. Our story is over. I've just buried the final chapter.
6. The person I knew is gone. I'll mourn them, but I will not speak to who you've become.
7. I’m deleting your number, our photos, and the entire timeline where you were in my life. You are officially history.
8. My life is now a "you-free" zone. The vacancy you've left is a relief.
9. Thank you for showing me exactly what I need to cut out of my life. The procedure was a success.
10. Don't try to contact me. You can't reach me where you're going.
For Your Burn Book: Cathartic Vents Not Meant to Be Sent
Sometimes, you need to scream into the void. These messages are for your eyes only—a tool for processing raw, unfiltered rage and pain. Write them down, then let them go.
1. Every good thing that happens to you feels like a personal injustice to me.
2. I resent every breath you take and every moment of peace you find.
3. You built a kingdom of lies, and I hope I live to see it turn to ash.
4. I hope you are haunted by the memory of my kindness, which you took for weakness.
5. My forgiveness is a resource you have exhausted completely. There is nothing left for you here.
6. You are a black hole of a person, and I refuse to let you consume any more of my light.
7. I hope your conscience—if you have one—gives you the same amount of sleep you’ve caused me to lose.
8. The world would be a measurably better place without your influence in it.
9. You are the villain of my story, and I am finally writing you out of it.
Metaphorical Endings: For the 'Death' of a Toxic Influence
This is a more constructive approach. It’s about wishing for the "death" of a negative concept—a toxic behavior, a past self, an addiction, or a painful dynamic. It’s about transformation and moving on.
1. I am wishing for the death of your ego, because I know a better person is buried underneath it.
2. Today, I'm mourning the old me—the one who tolerated your behavior. She’s gone now, so the new me can live.
3. I'm not wishing you ill, but I am praying for the death of the influence you have over my peace of mind.
4. Here’s to the death of my bad habits, my self-doubt, and my tolerance for disrespect. May they rest in pieces.
5. Let’s kill this version of our relationship. It's toxic and painful. Maybe something better can grow in its place, maybe not.
6. I hope the person you were dies a quiet death, making way for the person you could be.
7. I am ceremoniously killing the part of me that still waits for your apology. It's time for me to move on.
8. May the power your words have over me wither and die today.
Creative Curses & Fantastical Fates
For when you need a little imaginative, non-lethal revenge. This is a playful way to channel frustration into elaborate and comically specific dooms.
1. May you forever have an eyelash in your eye that you can never find.
2. May your Wi-Fi always be one bar, and may every video you watch buffer at the best part.
3. May both sides of your pillow always be warm.
4. I hope you step on a Lego, barefoot, in the dark, on the way to the bathroom every night for the rest of your life.
5. May you be cursed to be three minutes late for every important event.
6. May your favorite song become the hold music for your insurance company.
7. I hope every avocado you buy is either rock solid or completely brown on the inside. There is no in-between.
8. May you be followed by a bard who only knows how to sing about your most embarrassing moments.
9. May your sleeves always slide down while you're washing your hands.
10. I hope you get an unstoppable, un-scratchable itch in the middle of your back for the rest of the day.
### A Final Thought
The messages in this list span from bitingly funny to deeply serious. The most powerful way to use them is to find one that truly resonates with your feelings and personalize it. Often, the simple act of writing down a thought like this is enough to rob it of its power over you. It’s a way to acknowledge the depth of your emotion and, in doing so, take the first step toward moving past it. Be thoughtful in how you use your words, especially when they carry this much weight.