Here is the listicle article on short funny new year wishes.
Tired of sending the same old "Happy New Year!" text to everyone on your contact list? We get it. While the sentiment is nice, it can feel a little generic. The turn of the year is a time for celebration, reflection, and most importantly, a good laugh. Sending a message that’s packed with personality and humor is a fantastic way to connect with friends and family and kick off their year with a smile.
If you want to be the reason someone snorts their champagne or giggles into the new year, you've come to the right place. We've crafted a collection of short, witty, and downright funny New Year wishes perfect for a quick text, social media post, or a note in a card. Find the perfect line that says "you" and get ready to spread some cheer (and chuckles).
For the Resolution Skeptics
For everyone who knows that "new year, new me" usually lasts until about January 3rd. These messages are for the realists who approach New Year's resolutions with a healthy dose of humor and skepticism.
- My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making New Year's resolutions.
- May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. Good luck!
- Here's to a new year of making the same old mistakes. Cheers!
- My resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
- Let's make a pact to not make any resolutions this year. We can just be our same awesome, unimproved selves together.
- This year, I resolve to be more optimistic by keeping my glass half full... with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
- Good luck with your resolutions! I'll be over here eating cake.
- New year, same me. Because I'm already pretty great.
- I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.
- My resolution is to remember to write the correct year by March.
The "Good Riddance to Last Year" Crew
Let’s be honest, some years are just begging to be kicked to the curb. If the past year felt like a dumpster fire, these wishes are the perfect way to say "don't let the door hit you on the way out" and toast to a (hopefully) better future.
- Let’s put that year in the history books. And maybe seal the books. In cement.
- Congratulations on surviving another year! Let's see what fresh hell this one brings.
- Good riddance, last year. You will not be missed.
- May the new year be significantly less of a hot mess than the last one.
- Ding dong, the year is dead! Hope the next one is better for your head.
- We made it. That's it. That's the wish.
- May your biggest problem this year be a weak Wi-Fi signal. We deserve that much.
- Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right... or spectacularly wrong again.
- This is the beginning of anything you want. As long as it's not a repeat of last year.
Witty One-Liners & Puns
Perfect for a quick text or a clever social media caption, these short and punchy lines are designed for a quick laugh. They're all about smart wordplay and getting straight to the punchline.
- Have a spec-taco-lar New Year! (Best served with tacos).
- Sorry for the dad joke, but I'll see you next year!
- Happy New Year! Let's get this bread (and then go on a carb-free diet tomorrow).
- May your new year be as bright as your phone screen in a dark room.
- Hope you have a grape new year! Let's make a toast.
- New year, who dis?
- Just here for the countdown and the champagne. Happy New Year!
- It's the final countdown! (And yes, that song is now stuck in your head. You're welcome.)
- Happy New Year! May you have the courage to show your boss your "new year, new me" attitude.
Cheers to a Boozy New Year
New Year's Eve and a little bubbly go hand-in-hand. These messages celebrate the "spirit" of the holiday with a humorous nod to the drinks, the parties, and the inevitable morning after.
- Let’s be honest: my New Year’s resolution is to get my champagne consumption back to a normal level.
- Many people look forward to the new year for a new start. I'm just looking forward to the champagne.
- Let’s celebrate the new year in a way that the morning-after version of us will regret.
- Heads up! This is your last chance to make poor decisions in this calendar year.
- Sip, sip, hooray! Happy New Year.
- To a new year full of new possibilities... and lots of prosecco.
- Let’s ring in the new year with a toast, and hopefully we'll remember it tomorrow.
- Save water, drink champagne! Happy New Year!
- A little party never killed nobody... but I'm willing to test that theory tonight. Cheers!
For the "In Bed by 10 PM" Club
Who said you need to be out at a loud party to ring in the new year? These messages are for the introverts, the homebodies, and everyone who believes the best celebration involves pajamas, a comfy couch, and an early bedtime.
- Happy New Year from my couch! The party here is wild (my cat is chasing a dust bunny).
- Ringing in the new year with my favorite B's: Bed, Blankets, and a good Book. Bliss!
- My resolution is to get more sleep, and I'm starting tonight. Happy New Year!
- Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year before my 9 PM bedtime.
- The best part of celebrating New Year's at home is not having to find my keys. Cheers to that!
- Hope your New Year's Eve is as exciting as you want it to be (even if that means falling asleep during the countdown).
- Sending you New Year's wishes from my happy place: under a weighted blanket.
- Let's be real, the ball has already dropped for me. I'm going to bed. Happy New Year!
- Cheers to a New Year's celebration that doesn't require pants with a zipper.
### A Final Thought
The best funny message is one that feels true to your relationship with the person you're sending it to. Feel free to take any of these wishes and add a personal touch—an inside joke, a shared memory, or a specific hope for their year ahead. A little personalization goes a long way in making someone feel special. Now go on, make someone laugh their way into the new year