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It’s a thought that can feel shocking and shameful to admit: you’ve been so deeply hurt, betrayed, or angered by someone that you've wished them harm, or even wished they were gone. This is a painful and isolating place to be, and if you’re turning to the Bible for answers, you’re looking for wisdom and guidance in a moment of intense emotional and spiritual turmoil. These feelings, while difficult, are a part of the human experience, but the Bible offers a clear and transformative path through them.
This isn't about condemnation; it's about understanding what God says about our hearts, our anger, and the profound power of our thoughts and words. Scripture provides a roadmap away from the destructive bitterness of wishing ill on others and toward a peace that guards the heart and mind. Let’s explore the biblical wisdom that speaks directly to this difficult struggle.
The Heart's Condition: What the Bible Says About Anger and Hatred

The Bible teaches that our outward actions begin as inward thoughts and intentions. Jesus looked past the physical act of murder to address the root of hatred in the human heart, showing that the desire for harm is a serious spiritual matter.
- Matthew 5:21-22: "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment." This passage directly links unrighteous anger with the spirit of murder.
- 1 John 3:15: "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." The language is stark and powerful, emphasizing that harboring hatred is spiritually equivalent to the act itself.
- Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." A wish for death is a sign of an unguarded heart, and scripture calls us to tend to our inner world with utmost care.
- Mark 7:21-23: "For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder... All these evils come from inside and defile a person." Jesus clarifies that sin begins in the heart.
- Galatians 5:19-21: The "acts of the flesh" are listed here, including "hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage... and the like." The passage warns that those who live in this way will not inherit the kingdom of God.
- James 1:19-20: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." Our anger, especially when it festers into a death wish, works against God's will.
- Ephesians 4:31: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." This is a clear command to actively remove these destructive emotions from our lives.
"Vengeance is Mine": The Command to Leave Judgment to God

When someone has caused immense pain, it's natural to want justice. However, the Bible repeatedly and clearly states that ultimate justice and vengeance are God's and God's alone. Wishing death on someone is an attempt to take God’s role as the righteous judge into our own hands.
- Romans 12:19: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." This is the foundational verse for releasing our desire for personal vengeance.
- Deuteronomy 32:35: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." Trusting in God's timing and justice frees us from the burden of carrying it ourselves.
- Hebrews 10:30: "For we know him who said, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' and again, 'The Lord will judge his people.'" This verse reaffirms God's sovereign role as the ultimate judge.
- Psalm 94:1: "The LORD is a God who avenges. O God who avenges, shine forth." This is a prayer that acknowledges God's power to enact justice, allowing us to hand our case over to Him.
- Nahum 1:2: "The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The LORD takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies." Understanding God's character as a just God helps us trust Him with the outcome.
- 2 Thessalonians 1:6: "God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you." This promise offers comfort that wrongs will be righted, but by God's hand, not ours.
- Proverbs 20:22: "Do not say, 'I’ll pay you back for this wrong!' Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you." This is practical, patient advice for when we feel the urge to retaliate.
Love Your Enemies: The Radical Call to Bless, Not Curse

This is perhaps the most challenging and counter-cultural teaching in all of scripture. Instead of wishing for our enemies' demise, Jesus commands us to actively do them good. This command is not based on our feelings, but on our obedience to God and our desire to reflect His character.
- Matthew 5:44: "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." This is a direct command from Jesus that fundamentally opposes the idea of wishing death on anyone.
- Luke 6:27-28: "But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." The command is four-fold: love, do good, bless, and pray.
- Romans 12:14: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." This verse explicitly forbids the very act of cursing someone, which is the verbal expression of a death wish.
- Romans 12:20: "On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'" This act of proactive kindness is the Christian alternative to vengeance.
- 1 Peter 3:9: "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." We bless others because we ourselves have been blessed by God.
- Proverbs 25:21-22: "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you." This Old Testament wisdom reinforces Jesus' teachings.
- Exodus 23:4-5: "If you come across your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to them. If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help them with it." Even the law of Moses called for practical acts of kindness toward an enemy.
The Power of the Tongue: Warnings Against Curses and Malice

The Bible treats our words with immense seriousness, teaching that they have the power to bring life or death. Cursing someone or speaking a death wish over them is a misuse of this God-given power.
- Proverbs 18:21: "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." A death wish is a clear attempt to wield the power of death with our words.
- James 3:8-10: "...but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be." This passage highlights the hypocrisy of praising God while cursing people He created.
- Proverbs 26:2: "Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest." This offers comfort that our hateful words do not have ultimate power, but it does not excuse the sin of speaking them.
- Psalm 109:17: "He loved to pronounce a curse—may it come back on him. He found no pleasure in blessing—may it be far from him." This is a powerful warning about the boomerang effect of a cursing heart.
- Leviticus 19:17: "Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt." The Bible's solution is honest, constructive confrontation, not hidden hatred and curses.
- Colossians 3:8: "But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." Cursing falls squarely into the category of "malice" and "slander."
Finding a Path Forward: Prayers for When You're Filled with Rage

Knowing what the Bible says is one thing; applying it when you're overwhelmed by pain is another. The Bible doesn't just give commands; it also provides a model for how to process these emotions healthily through prayer and surrender.
- Pray Like David in the Psalms: Read psalms of lament like Psalm 13 or Psalm 69, where David pours out his raw, honest anger to God. He doesn't hold back, but he always brings it to God, asking Him to act, rather than taking matters into his own hands.
- A Prayer of Surrender: "God, I confess I am filled with hatred and anger toward [person's name]. These feelings are consuming me. I release my desire for revenge and my right to be angry. I place them, and this entire situation, into Your hands. You are the just Judge. Please take this burden from me."
- A Prayer for a Changed Heart: "Lord, I don't want to feel this way. My heart is hard and full of bitterness. Please soften my heart. Replace my hatred with Your peace. Help me to see this person as You see them, as someone created in Your image. It feels impossible, but I know all things are possible with You."
- A Prayer of Blessing (Even When It Hurts): "Father, following the command of Your Son, I choose to bless [person's name]. I don't feel it, but I am being obedient. I pray that you would work in their life. Grant them repentance and lead them to You. Guard my tongue from cursing and teach me how to bless."
- Meditate on the Cross: Reflect on how Jesus responded to his enemies. As he was being crucified, he prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). Meditating on this ultimate act of forgiveness can put our own hurts into perspective.
- A Prayer for Your Own Healing: "Lord, I am deeply wounded. This anger comes from a place of real pain. Please heal my heart. Show me how to find my value and security in You, not in how others treat me. Help me to forgive, not because they deserve it, but because You have forgiven me."
- Seek Wise Counsel: Proverbs 11:14 says, "For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers." If these feelings persist, talk to a trusted pastor, elder, or Christian counselor. You don't have to carry this alone.
### A Final Thought on Grace
To struggle with thoughts of wishing death on someone does not make you a monster; it makes you a human being in need of God’s grace. The key is not to let that thought take root and define you. Instead, view it as a red flag from your soul, calling you to turn to God with renewed urgency. Bring your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance to the foot of the cross. Lay it down, and allow God to replace it with a supernatural peace and a freedom you never thought possible. By applying these biblical truths, you can begin the process of healing and moving from a place of destructive anger to one of restorative faith.